Hello, hello laxers! So we’ve been talking for a while as your resident lax babe, and a question that I often get is ‘what exactly is a lax babe’? Well, allow me to explain with this handy LPG exclusive guide to what a lax babe is.
Brief history lesson
I actually don’t hate the word laxtitute. It’s catchy and (to me) inoffensive. You know how many people sent me the last 30 seconds of Midd Kid (“Cause he’s a lax bro, and I’m a laxtitute…”) with the message “HAHA this is actually you”? At least 50. Including some family members and my loves over at Lax Unlimited.
I do love laxers, and I follow my teams, college games and practically have a PhD in Flow Studies (true story). But what else can we be called, we the counterparts of the lax bro? Lax Hoes? (Hint: No.) Then one day, (because of COURSE I follow Con Bro Chill on Twitter, if you don’t you’re missing out) I saw Con Bro Chill (aka Connor Martin) tweet “Laxtitutes? Shut your mouth, they’re lax babes!” Under 140 characters of brilliance. Lax babes have been around since the Native Americans were slinging their hide-covered balls across mile long fields. Trust me, Laxes-with-Flow assuredly had the most babes on his arm. But unless that was also because he was leading his league in ground ball pickups, they weren’t lax babes. A lax babe goes above and beyond the call of the laxtitute. Any chick can be a laxtitute. It really isn’t that hard. But when I was standing out in the rain covering a game like an insane person, scribbling (why did I bring a pad you ask? When it was raining? I have no idea, probably bad planning) game highlights and talking to the captain of our team for quotes, I realized I was not a laxtitute. Lax babes are not fair-weather fans. We are the AMAZING chicks that know our stuff. (And not-in-any-way secretly love flow…we’re human, sue us.). But how to spot a lax babe that you laxers can claim as your own (you should be so lucky)?
Lacrosse pinnies are the greatest part of the laxer lifestyle for me. I love the game and all aspects of it, but pinnies are my jam. They are the currency of laxers, and everyone has a special place in their heart for their first pinnie. They also tend to be the first sign of a laxer to the eye. In the summer or at a tourney, you see a guy coming at you with a tee-shirt…meh (unless that tee-shirt says “STX” on it). Is he wearing a pinnie? Oh hello there… Other notable accessories include: croakies (functional and awesome), Turf Dawgs (while wearing gaiters off the field will look way weird, ON the field, they show you care about your shoes), (current hat trend) snapbacks, and lacrosse shorts (those scream summer, and are so comfortable).
2) Severe Flow Addiction
It is in no way a secret that I love the flow. I might even say that I have an unhealthy addiction to it…but I won’t, because I refuse to admit that I have a problem. They say that 90% of lax is in the flow, and my research shows that while flow is no replacement for skill, flow is a fantastic addendum to your game. I even remember in high school friends discussing the best ways to tend to the flow.
No product, baseball cap over it (backwards), and you’re out the door. If there is gel in it, it’s not flow, it’s a helmet. And when Cascade makes such dope buckets, why would you want your hair to try and replace them? One could even look to, I don’t know, a list of such worthy college laxers, (coughFLOWTEAMcough) to see what makes the best lettuce.
This is what separates the laxtitutes from the lax babes. As said before, anyone can be a laxtitute, spotting a pinney, flow and the wand and running as fast as your flip-flops permit. Lax babes are actual fans of the game. Did you know that Rabil shoots at 111 mph? But did you also know that Paul Dawson of the Philly Wings just freaking KO’d Buffalo Bandit Travis Irving in last week’s game? (Well, if you’re smart and read this site you do haha) OR that hi, Team USA won the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS this past Summer? Babes, you don’t have to be a superfan (like this chick) to be a lax babe. Just knowing about the game and not being the “Brantford Winstonworth” of lax knowledge (he’s affluent, but not very good. Also if you don’t know who he is, once again, missing out). Just know how it’s played, and know what’s going on! So, laxers, look out for me on your sidelines, hide ya pinnies, and let that flow rage. Now you know how to spot a lax babe. Go forth and impress, laxers!
Follow me on Twitter, @marilynmonbro.
I’m Sammie, and am not A “lax babe”, I’m THE “lax babe”. My first big-girl crush was on a laxer, who let’s just say is still on the field (and in the box) today, and it’s only expanded from there. I live and work around bros, who I love and could hang out with all day every day. One could really even call me a “bro in babe’s clothing”. While lax is (with a bullet) my favorite sport, it’s not the only one I follow, growing up a diehard NY Giants/Yankees fan. If all I had was YouTube clips of MLL skills championships, my aviators, my Ipod, Summer days, pinneys, and laxers, I’d be one happy chick.