For Immediate Release:
Washington, D.C.: This morning, at 9:00am CST, US Government officials stormed the Epoch Lacrosse headquarters in Eden Prairie, MN and seized computers, raw materials, testing equipment and inventory. Epoch Lacrosse is being charged with conspiracy to overthrow the US Government and with purchasing unapproved military grade materials reserved for wartime preparation, peacekeeping efforts and advanced weaponry. An unnamed Government official confirmed Epoch Lacrosse was in possession of Military Grade raw materials not yet approved for civilian usage.
It was just two weeks ago that Epoch Lacrosse released its new Otter Mesh, which is made from military grade fibers, the same fibers used by the US Navy Seals. We also know that Epoch’s Dragonfly line-up of lacrosse shafts use military grade carbon fiber. Epoch Lacrosse could not be reached for statement however the following text was found on Epoch’s company blog www.LivePlayBe.com.
The events that transpired this a.m. are a big misunderstanding. Epoch lacrosse is dedicated to bringing the most technologically advanced materials to the sport of lacrosse. We are in no way involved in an effort to overthrow the US Government. Epoch pushed the boundaries of finding new material to improve the sport of lacrosse; we may have pushed a little too far in the eyes of the government.
Live. Play. Be.
James Miceli
Principal, Sales and Marketing
Epoch Lacrosse
Please keep checking back for more information as this story develops.
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unreal
unreal
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Here’s a look at this year’s top five defenses, beginning with the reigning kings.Here is wishing that Nike Air Force 1 brings in more of its multicultural appeal through the latest upgrades.Take advantage of this time, he thought the Nike Air Max LTD Zhongche recommendations.Please note oily cloths can self-ignite.Dunk High Smiley Face Sale design set onto a clean white background gives these sneakers a simple but effective look, complete with Blink 182 on the sole.Knight commenced the enterprise by distributing Onitsuka Tiger shoes (recognized nowadays as ASICS), usually throughout monitor fulfills.
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they should be seized for their exorbitantly priced mesh
they should be seized for their exorbitantly priced mesh
Nice marketing on 4/1. Almost bought it
Nice marketing on 4/1. Almost bought it
Nice marketing on 4/1. Almost bought it
it would be hard to take this as serious…there is a spelling error in the gov. issued warning…nice try though!
You got me hahaha – That was good
april fools?