Adapting To Flow

Posted on August 25, 2009 by

Categories: Pop Culture, Style, Uncategorized

Flow seems to be a hot topic these days in lacrosse, thanks in part to the guys over at 90% (you know, 90 percent of lax is in the flow). You’ll occaisionally see some blogs from the flow guys gracing LacrossePlayground.com, starting with this one from Thomas Kehoe:

Like a fine Italian sports car or dating a runway model, the best things in life are not free. At first glance, the manimal criss-crossing his way through your ride may appear to be the beneficiary of a seemingly free resource, fantastic hair. That would be wrong, and the assumption reeks of ignorance.

Lacrosse demands a fast pace, which heightens the importance of crystal clear vision. The Danowskis, Boyles, and Sweeneys of the world rely on astute eyes to decipher the action around them. Long hair is difficult to control and one of the main consequences can be flow drifting into the face mid-play. A fairly simple remedy is to thoroughly wet her back, whipping it into place with one swift motion, sending beads of flow shrapnel into the eager hands of fans. If water is unavailable, you should pretend to pass out from exhaustion and enjoy the benefits of the US legal system.

Some football hybrids go to the cut t-shirt sleeve, but this often makes me ill. One, if you have that many sleeves lying around, you should spend less time in GNC and more time looking civilized. Secondly, it disrupts the positioning of the helmet; and most importantly, it looks stupid. Thin headbands are a much more appropriate flow supplement; they are discrete yet effective, much like matching chinstraps.
In either case, be sure to tuck the hair well into the helmet, pushing aside the stray locks and resting them around your ear. A pre-game shower will also give you a well saturated base, on top of loosening your muscles. Centennial Conference Player of the Year Tom “I’m Bitter Today” O’Donnell would not and could not play without a warm shower before the game, ensuring tantalizingly wet flow and oh so fresh moves.

Another issue with flow comes from the never-ending escapade called Mom and Dad. Our fathers grew up in the hey-day of hair, yet they despise our efforts to grab Tierney’s attention. But to their credit, they are correct in that people just can’t take you seriously. It may only apply to those of you in the 17+age range, but you hit a point where impressions have lasting impressions. Carrying 5 pounds of hair on the dome is a pretty blunt signal that looking sweet is a high priority. College admission officers, job interviewers, and the girlfriend’s parents are questioning your commitment to the real world. The best way to overcome this hurdle is to seek out people who appreciate lacrosse and its nuances, in the case of colleges, get yourself recruited and 4 inches of love will add 200+ to your SATs. If you’re stuck, tell them you’re using lacrosse to leverage your way into a better school or to enhance your social network. Then ask them why they always drink at social gatherings, reversing the pressure. Long hair can be your ticket in or out of the door, it’s a matter of presentation and spin.

Well I hope that increases your appreciation for ball players going out there in flow fashion. Sure they get all the Facebook tags and awards, but they adapt to the subsequent maintenance flow requires. Grow some flow and join us at “90% of Lax is in the Flow” on Facebook.

Email me any flow related questions you’d want answered; or anything in general: Kehoth01@gmail.com

Posted in: Pop Culture

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  • Medicino

    Hahah This is great! I’m going to read thru this again and jot down notes.

  • dashflash

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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