Government Officials Storm Epoch Lacrosse Headquarters

Posted on April 1, 2014 by

Categories: Epoch, Sticks/Shafts

For Immediate Release:

Government Officials Storm Epoch Lacrosse Headquarters

Washington, D.C.:  This morning, at 9:00am CST, US Government officials stormed the Epoch Lacrosse headquarters in Eden Prairie, MN and seized computers, raw materials, testing equipment and inventory.  Epoch Lacrosse is being charged with conspiracy to overthrow the US Government and with purchasing unapproved military grade materials reserved for wartime preparation, peacekeeping efforts and advanced weaponry. An unnamed Government official confirmed Epoch Lacrosse was in possession of Military Grade raw materials not yet approved for civilian usage.

It was just two weeks ago that Epoch Lacrosse released its new Otter Mesh, which is made from military grade fibers, the same fibers used by the US Navy Seals.  We also know that Epoch’s Dragonfly line-up of lacrosse shafts use military grade carbon fiber. Epoch Lacrosse could not be reached for statement however the following text was found on Epoch’s company blog www.LivePlayBe.com.

The events that transpired this a.m. are a big misunderstanding. Epoch lacrosse is dedicated to bringing the most technologically advanced materials to the sport of lacrosse.  We are in no way involved in an effort to overthrow the US Government.  Epoch pushed the boundaries of finding new material to improve the sport of lacrosse; we may have pushed a little too far in the eyes of the government.

Live. Play. Be.

James Miceli

Principal, Sales and Marketing

Epoch Lacrosse

Please keep checking back for more information as this story develops.

Posted in: Epoch

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  • Shorty

    april fools?

  • Anon

    You got me hahaha – That was good

  • boo

    it would be hard to take this as serious…there is a spelling error in the gov. issued warning…nice try though!

  • Zoo

    Nice marketing on 4/1. Almost bought it

  • Zoo

    Nice marketing on 4/1. Almost bought it

  • Zoo

    Nice marketing on 4/1. Almost bought it

  • TonyPerkis

    they should be seized for their exorbitantly priced mesh

  • TonyPerkis

    they should be seized for their exorbitantly priced mesh

  • richard6272

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    Here’s a look at this year’s top five defenses, beginning with the reigning kings.Here is wishing that Nike Air Force 1 brings in more of its multicultural appeal through the latest upgrades.Take advantage of this time, he thought the Nike Air Max LTD Zhongche recommendations.Please note oily cloths can self-ignite.Dunk High Smiley Face Sale design set onto a clean white background gives these sneakers a simple but effective look, complete with Blink 182 on the sole.Knight commenced the enterprise by distributing Onitsuka Tiger shoes (recognized nowadays as ASICS), usually throughout monitor fulfills.

    Here are some of the concerns they voiced: Are leaders.If you are the type who likes loud colors, then any of these nike dunk year of the tiger are for you!Nike running shoes are some of the most technologically advanced running shoes in the market today.Most bills have died before making it out of subcommittee.Kobe Bryant is in 13, were injured in the Los Angeles lakers 118-116 win over the warriors, at that time the lakers trainer Gary d di said Bryant’s torn Achilles tendon was completely, but Bryant still insist scored two goals before departure.How the hell could that kind of consumption have risen by a factor of three?

    , preferably 250-500 mg.Korean brand ranging from Adela to Waxcompany and hundreds more for you to choose from.This includes the likes of, sprawling dining brands or household fashion names; it has got harder for .For those who like a silver finish this watch is good for business or dress.All of nike free 5.0 v4 these stuffs and information can easily be found by acquiring information from experience people, reading book, magazines and newspapers or by searching through the internet.Oliver Peoples Sunglasses ReviewThe longest occupied stadium in the NFL, Lambeau seats almost 73,000 diehard “Cheeseheads” each game, and there is a 74,000-person waiting list for season tickets.

  • richard6272

    The pair went for over $30,000 and was made for the individual (who was kept anonymous) in his/her size.Apart from the superb style, the adidas footwear have also been known for their extra powered durability and high strength.ersus most very good ok bye Packers.mickey mouse nike and http://www.skycatmall.co.uk/nike-free-30-v2-c-46/ minnie mouse nike is our favorite.Cependant, bien qu’il s’agisse d’un ph inspir essentiellement de la culture am de la basket a aussi des racines au Japon.The epic “Last Shot” Jordan 14′s will release later this year and are one of the most anticipated shoe drops for sneakerheads and Jordanheads alike.He has 6 NBA Championship rings.

    Here’s a look at this year’s top five defenses, beginning with the reigning kings.Here is wishing that Nike Air Force 1 brings in more of its multicultural appeal through the latest upgrades.Take advantage of this time, he thought the Nike Air Max LTD Zhongche recommendations.Please note oily cloths can self-ignite.Dunk High Smiley Face Sale design set onto a clean white background gives these sneakers a simple but effective look, complete with Blink 182 on the sole.Knight commenced the enterprise by distributing Onitsuka Tiger shoes (recognized nowadays as ASICS), usually throughout monitor fulfills.

    Here are some of the concerns they voiced: Are leaders.If you are the type who likes loud colors, then any of these nike dunk year of the tiger are for you!Nike running shoes are some of the most technologically advanced running shoes in the market today.Most bills have died before making it out of subcommittee.Kobe Bryant is in 13, were injured in the Los Angeles lakers 118-116 win over the warriors, at that time the lakers trainer Gary d di said Bryant’s torn Achilles tendon was completely, but Bryant still insist scored two goals before departure.How the hell could that kind of consumption have risen by a factor of three?

    , preferably 250-500 mg.Korean brand ranging from Adela to Waxcompany and hundreds more for you to choose from.This includes the likes of, sprawling dining brands or household fashion names; it has got harder for .For those who like a silver finish this watch is good for business or dress.All of nike free 5.0 v4 these stuffs and information can easily be found by acquiring information from experience people, reading book, magazines and newspapers or by searching through the internet.Oliver Peoples Sunglasses ReviewThe longest occupied stadium in the NFL, Lambeau seats almost 73,000 diehard “Cheeseheads” each game, and there is a 74,000-person waiting list for season tickets.

  • Scipio

    unreal

  • Scipio

    unreal